Search
  • Madeline Topf

"Closer to fine"

I've tried

reading, crying,

kneading, writing.

I've tried

dancing, running,

macrame-ing, meditating,

baking,

thinking, thinking, thinking.

It still fucking sucks.


When I carefully plaster on a hydrating mask

I don't feel better

happy, or more fulfilled

but I am trying. everyday I try.

I need to try. I need to try.

I need to.


I need to try

to be kinder, healthier,

for an inch more space in my mind,

for a bit more freedom


and a bit more not giving up


So when later we look back, when we are together again, we can laugh


Recent Posts

See All

I participated in a study last week. It was called the “Healthy Minds” study. They read me the release form. They told me there was a surprise during the study. They said there was going to be a Stre

When we start graduate school, we are alone. We all are, usually, alone in our own labs, huddling over our piles of work that are too big for the day. But really it takes one person to look up and aro